Friday, August 9, 2013

STONG ENOUGH

Mr. Blue Eyes has been a little tired and achy, but he is doing well. We got to spend a lot of time together, just the two of us. It was nice. He really is a fun companion. The # 1,3, and 4 siblings were swept away, off having some fun with friends. We even went to Costco today. He was pushing the cart — after I wiped it with a ton of sanitizing wipes. I looked at him frozen for just a moment. He was pale (OK, just a little more honky white than usual), and I saw his arm wrap with his pick line underneath.  The gravity of that moment was powerful. This is my son; this is Mr. Blue Eyes.  My eyes filled with tears, and I struggled a bit the rest of the day.

I have thought so much about what it means to be strong enough. I have sometimes said in this last month, "I am not strong enough." I only utter these words to my closest of friends and in my prayers, knowing they and God see something greater in me that I do myself. I know God sees some way I can be the mom Corban needs. I am determined to be here for not just Mr. Blue Eyes, but each one of my Blue-Eyed Kiddos.  So I pray for strength every day and I know it will come...

What has gives me strength: prayer, my loving husband, hugs from my blue-eyed crew, a box of sunshine, blankets of love, pictures of Jesus, cards of kindness, being stuck together in a cracker-jack car with all the Costco groceries, laughter, inspiring thoughts, scriptures, dinner and bowling with 007, babysitters,  casseroles, brownies, salads, pine combs, text messages, happy thoughts,  angels, Ipads, friends and sisters.
Corban  being a trooper in the little pooper car! LOL. Next time we take the Uhaul.

5 comments:

  1. I love that pic! I said on facebook the other day -- While parents are raising kids, they are also creating life long memories. Remember to make them good ones. --- my point is, someday THIS will be a memory... "Hey Mom, remember when you piled all that stuff on me?!" and it will be a happy memory. He won't remember if he felt crappy or sad that day, only that he and mom had a great trip to the store.
    Keep you chin up my sweet sister. I love you all dearly

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are certainly strong enough. And when you can't do it anymore, others will carry. You CAN do it! Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are forever strong. That's what your Mom taught you. You are a child of God and can do anything that is asked of you. Let people help. We all feel helpless and want to do something. (You know that feeling.) Remember you and yours are loved.

    ReplyDelete