I walked around the house tonight turning of every light in the house. Mr. Blue Eyes had just walked around. He turns on every light before he enters a room.
When he is sleeping with us at night, If I get out of bed he jumps up and becomes my shadow. Being alone, full of fear has been one of the ways his little person has processed having and having had cancer. He is unsettled in his big world. He has to fall asleep with someone around him. He is terrified of the dark and has a vivid imagination. This has been one of the biggest manifestations of his inward fears and anxiety. I have not kicked him out of our bed yet for this very reason. I want him to know that he is safe.
Safe to sleep to dream and to find his way in the world.
His world will not always be filled with so much fear and lack of understanding. He will grow and be less afraid as the days go by. He will be stronger than ever before.
Courage
has not been wasted on him. He will get there.. we all will.
Until then sleeping with a bald adorable wiggly worm with a whole lotta lights on.
I can't imagine what it must be like for a child to go through this. You have no real concept that bad things happen anywhere, to anyone, and then out of nowhere you get blindsided with LIFE way before your time. One day he will know and understand that he has already had the courage to face and defeat what for many people is the greatest challenge of a lifetime. Until then, I say, press on and keep the lights a blazin'!
ReplyDeleteYou are a very perceptive mom - we can all learn something from this.
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