2 years ago this month........

This is the last appointment we will have at City of Hope in Duarte while living in Southern California. We are moving to the Bay Area at the end of the summer.  It was hard to believe it was just two short years ago that Corban was officially diagnosed this month by Dr. Armenian with ALCL Lymphoma.  We have talked about finding a new hospital in the Bay Area however for now our hearts are tied here.  It would be hard to start over with a new doctor when he already has the WORLDS BEST DOCTOR.  So for now we will do a 6 month blood draw where we move to and send the results to City of Hope. Six months later we will drive to City Of Hope for a check up with his doctor.
He was given a clean bill of health today. We are blessed.  We will miss this place.  WE never thought we would ever say  we would miss a cancer hospital.  This place is the best!

Diffrent

Mr. Blue eyes spring break this year looking Little  DIFFERENT

Cancer looks different for everyone, it comes in different forms and stages. It comes with different fears and worries because of who we are. It can be a quick easy journey, or long an even never ending.

In our community we just found out recently that a little boy in the fourth grade has Cancer.  This is the same age of  Mr. Blue eyes was when he got his. IT has hit close to home and close to our hearts. Our hearts have been heavy and to say the least and full of prayers for not just Him, but his family.

Today Mr. Blue eyes came home arguing with his brother about something silly.  He was upset.  It was after this that he saw me looking at this families face book page.  He then said this family is getting a lot more attention then us.  Why mom????  They have bracelets, shirts and everyone at school is all about team ..... Then he proceeded to to tell me that kids at school were being mean and saying that his cancer was nothing because this other kids is so much worse.  He goes on with tears in his eyes saying that a lot of kids have made comments to him about him not getting this kind of attention when he got cancer. Why not???

My mama heart broke into pieces. I talked to him about how this kiddo is going to a different hospital just for kids and that he has lived here all his life and so have his parents.  They are deeply rooted in the community of baseball here, which is everything in this town.
I reminded him that we only had lived here 2 1/2 years when he got cancer and that we have family and  friends all over that loved us and prayed for us.  Many spoiled him.  Not many people even knew about our journey only people from church (they were awesome) and a few at school.  We did not try to hide it we just did not have many of our people here, they were mostly far away.
I reminded him that this little guy is sick and has been hospitalized this week a lot.  I hugged him several time and empathized that all of those comments from other kids were hurt full and mean.  I reminded him how blessed he was to be loved by the people that loved and touched him.

Check up

It was time for a three month check up today.  Everything looked good and the blood draw came back normal.  Yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We took some little toys and 4 Angry Bird Blankets for the kids.  We love this hospital and all the people in it.  Now, does that say that this hospital never gives us anxiety or stress. NO, today when we were driving I felt a small ting of fear wrapped up in the gratitude of a check up. Life will always have uncertainties we just need to keep our heads looking up and faith in the for front of our minds.  God has a purpose in all things!  

a year out...

Tonight the brothers were arguing and The littlest said to Mr. Blue Eyes.  It is so unfair I have had to sleep on the top bunk since you got cancer.  "Mr. Blue eyes responds with "Oh so you think it is fair that I got cancer.  You think I deserved that. you think this was easy! It was not  it was hard and it hurt a lot!' Frustration  and hurt were taking over His body.  He was in tears, tears that soon took over his body.
Layers of recovery occur even over a year later of Cancer free.  I was actually relieved to see his anger stir and that he vocalized his journey as being hard.  I am relieved that he has the emotional capacity to express this. So today as a mother I celebrate that he found a voice to validate his journey.