LIttle sick turkey....

 

This was Mr. Blue on this Thanksgiving he had the stomach flue and was sick most of the day. 

Two Month...... Cancer free Check up

 

 

Mr.Blue Eyes was shy today with the staff and his doctor.  The appointment snuck up on us.  A lot has gone during the last month.  He is settling into things as well as he can for all he has been through.
He is still struggling to sleep independently, his ability to focus and his appetite is still not as it used to be he is actually eating less than ever now. Don't think he has giving up on Tapatio though he still loves that.  As far as his physical health is going he has had one cold since going back to school and seems to have gotten through that.  His blood count was lower today at a 4 but Dr. Armenian said that that is OK and he is doing fine even though this reading is lower than last month.  We loved seeing our nurses and are bummed to find out that our blood draws are now going to be in a different location so we will not be seeing them every month now.  We will really miss them they have been so good to Mr.Blue Eyes.
It was nice to be reassured by the doctor that every thing seems normal and good.
From my perspective this was a ponderous appointment.  It has been two months since the scan came back clear of cancer.  Wow!  It is actually starting to feel like more of a relief now, it helps to have more distance from that day.   Hopefully we will see in next months scan that the same holds true.
Feeling very blessed to be sitting with these 
thoughts of gratitude today.

Fuzzy

 

Mr. Blue Eyes is getting a full head of fuzzzzzy hair.  It is so soft and fun to rub.  I will however really have to say that though it has represented cancer in its raw visual form.  I did love the sweet bald head.  It was a treat to rub and hug and even admire.

Bald Buddies

 

 

 Not a lot of words for the tenderness I feel around this day two weeks ago.  A great friend of mine that I had posted about earlier on the blog recently got breast cancer was over at the house today.  She arrived with only 1/3 of the hair on her head that had fallen out in just the 4 days since I last saw her.  Her daughters came with her and her sister joined also.  We made the best of what can be so hard into a party.  We laughed shaved a Mohawk and even bicked it.  I had colored a wig for her two times trying to bring it blond enough.  I had stressed over it and quite frankly prayed over it.  I had not touched a wig since I was trained as a Cosmetologist.  Prayer and a little bit of skill  payed off she left feeling great.  She was brave, strong and courageous.  So proud of her I know today was not a day she had looked forward to.  Mr Blue eyes was cute with her so here is to two very beautiful bald heads.

Giving Thanks

This year I really wanted the kids to be more mindful of  the meaning of gratitude and being
 THANKFUL. It was 19 days late to get it done but we have a tree of thanks now to help us to be more mindful of our blessings.
The echoes of the journey still resinate loud in my soul.  I know now that they do for our whole family.  As the kids starting righting things they were thankful for to hang on our Tree of Thanks this is what came. Thank you for Dr. Armenian, City of Hope, Prayer, Nurses, Life, food, tapatio, family, God, undies, ect......

 

This was Mr. Blue Eyes bundle of thanks that he wrote...

 We certainly are feeling the emence graduated of a recovery from Mr. Blue Eyes Lymphoma. It has been a time of thanks that has brought on a whole new meaning of what is truly important.  Reflective and ever grateful for the power of  Heaven that gave us all the strength to endure.

First week of full days at school

 He hugged me the biggest hug on his first FULL day when he got home.  It melted my heart and brought tears to my eyes. " I told him that it is a lot for me to get used to also..." We are so used to be together it is hard to be apart. So far he has done OK for his first week back.  He wanted to play the viola so he started this week.
He is a tender heart and very sensitive to the world around him.  He says he likes school  SO SO.  He is pooped at P.E. but he is trying.  He seems to enjoy a few friend and likes his teacher. Focus seems to be our biggest problem once he is home, homework is a small night mare.  We will take it over the one he just went through. So the report is overall good!  I would give it a -B.

A date night with Mom and 4 other kids..

 

This was a really special night out for our Mr. Blue eyes.  We were shocked when City of Hope had contacted us and said they had complimentary tickets to Cirque Du Soleil.  I (the crazy mom) drove five kids down to the Port of Los Angeles for the performance. (Mr.Blue eyes brought a best bud since his dad could not go.)  We left with plenty of time to go out to dinner on an official date. I was really looking forward to it.  We took of with a few hitches and made great time getting there.  I had printed a google map and had a garman in the car.  I was sure that we would find our way.  We found our way all right, all the way down the 47 going the wrong direction.  That was only after we crossed some rather GINORMOUS bridges. While going over the bridges Mr.Blue Eyes brother hollered " everyone close your eyes!!!!!, Everyone except MOM!" LOL!  I have to say it made me a little queasy at the top also.  I then discovered Mr. Blue eyes was not afraid he liked it and was bummed we did not go home the same way home.
We ended up having to grab fast food to make it on time. The performance was lively and the kids really soaked it up, even the little 2 year old.  The kids said it was AMAZING!! Mr. Blue eyes loved
We also had the great fortune of sitting by another family from City of Hope.  They very familiar with cancer and what a strong kiddo they have.  He was bright eyed and talkative. I was impressed.  They also have four kids and have been battling this journey two times because of a relapse and many many years.  So little did they know that they inspired and strengthened me to tonight just by meeting them.
It was a big night out, Mr. Blue eyes was exhausted by the end.(he was asleep within minutes of getting in the car. Then I drove my Circus home and tucked them safely into bed.  It was a date to remember.  

First Day of School

First day of School November 2013

Walking to school backpack loaded and ready to go!

Renee our awesome social worker

 

WOW!  Mr. Blue Eyes went to a little over one hour of school today.  He will be doing half days the rest of the week.  When we arrived at school a large crowd of kids gathered around him.  He was overwhelmed with the crowd he is not much for being in the spotlight.  He finally was nudged by the social worker to go play in the school yard.  He lept like a gazelle into the yard trying to escape all the attention.   I was also overwhelmed by the attention, but not in the same way.  What a  great moment to witness these amazing kids being kind to our son.  He is returning to school after winning his battle with cancer.
He got to have our social worker from City of Hope be there with him to talk to his class.  Her name is Renee and she is  loving and sweet.  She brought his class little coloring books that they read a story of a kiddo with cancer.  The class mates were inquisitive, asking a lot of questions and were so kind to Mr. Blue Eyes.  He also got to talk about the poster we had made together of his journey with cancer. It had a lot of pictures on it all ones that he picked.  I was so proud of him for being brave, talking and sharing his experiences.

My perspective today was that I was so happy to see him going back to school and reentering the world.  I feel so so lucky and blessed that we have arrived at this place.  The other element of this day and week is that I have protected him from the world, loving him making sure he is coping and processing all of the change around him.  This has been more than a full time job (I am not complaining I would do it again)  but today it changed I had to let him go.  It was worse than sending him off to kindergarten. I seriously felt like such a sap, but letting go of a cute bald cancer free 9 year old is hard.  Especially for this mom. Though I am happy to see this happening,  I will miss our days together I will miss that I cannot protect him from the world of germs and those who are none empathetic to him.  It was a huge reality of our journey when I saw our beautiful boy standing in the play yard at school today with his little bald head amongst those with hair.  There are moments when I see him as if to look at him for the first time with no hair, reminding me of the road traveled over this long summer.  I chock back a few good tears and remind myself that he did it.  He kicked cancer! He will only look different from the outside a little bit longer but on the inside he wears many badges of courage and hardship.  I wear my badges of this journey with a more tender outlook on life and reminders of Gods infinite grace and mercy.  We really have to cherish every moment they only happen once. So today I cherish letting go.....